Teenager
by booksywriter
Summary: A 15 year old girl reflects on peter pan neverland and growing up in the most awkward stage of life adolecence. Rated t for swearing R&R no flamz Plz


_Confused_ that's how she feels. Confused, conflicted, and caught between two worlds. It had all started nine years before, when she was six.

You see on February 14th of that year her dad had broken his back, the next day he was diagnosed with blood cancer. That was back when Peter visited her all the time; Tinker Bell went to school with her in her pocket every single day. Peter was her brother, the Lost Boys were her children, Tiger Lilly was her cousin, and Tinker Bell despite her jealousy was her best friend.

Peter helped her through probably the toughest time of her life. The kids at school made fun of her for believing. They chased her around and threatened to kill Tinker Bell by saying "I don't believe in fairies". Yet she believed, despite all that she still believed. Her teacher tried to talk to her mother about it, but her mother was busy with other thing as you can imagine.

Finally at age seven she couldn't handle the ridicule anymore. She took Peter to her room, opened her window wide looked him in the face and said "Peter I'm seven now, in second grade. I'm now a big kid, I'm growing up and I'm too old for you good bye." After he flew away she locked the window behind him.

This is what she claims to be her biggest regret regarding Peter Pan. She was too young to give up Never Land and to stop flying, but she did anyways. She did end up going back though, about six years later when she was thirteen. She unlocked her window and he came, and she flew again.

She began to go to Never Land and hang with Peter and the Lost Boys all the time. Whenever she had a problem with school or when she wanted to talk, or she just wanted to have some fun. She showed them her cell phone, her iPod, her computer. They even attempted to help her with her homework. They trusted her enough to let her teach them things you learn in school like math, this in turn helped her math skills.

Tinker Bell helped her with 'boy problems', the mermaids gave her makeovers; the Lost Boys gave her entertainment and made her laugh. Fighting the pirates was more fun now too. She had more ways of fighting that a young child would never think of. Like now she could say "Hook you fucking bastard come and get me" and he would rush at her and pin her to the wall of the ship knife at her throat, but she wasn't done with him yet. She'd cower in fear, fake fear because when he thought he had her shed knee him 'where the sun doesn't shine' and he'd scream out in pain, release his hold on her and she'd fly away laughing hysterically.

With more mature ways of fighting the pirates however, came more mature fears of them too. Only Peter and Tink knew them though because the Lost Boys were too young to get it. Whenever she couldn't escape from Hook a whole new problem was before her. Not only could she be made to walk the plank but she could be violated too.

You see the pirates aren't pedophiles so they would never have touched her when she was a kid. They would never touch the Lost Boys because they were still and always would be kids. Smee and Hook wouldn't do anything -she was thirteen not twenty two- , but the younger pirates, the ones that swab the decks-ranging in age from sixteen to twenty one- she had to worry about. Some of the younger ones were attractive she didn't deny that, but that still didn't mean she really truly wanted to have sex with them. Peter would always keep her safe from that though; he would never let the pirates hurt her, either physically or sexually. He would not allow it. If they tried, when they did try well let's just say they regretted it greatly.

Peter was still her brother, but on a different level now. He was like her personal therapist. She talked to him about everything. The bitchy girl in her math class, her teachers when they bugged her, her stress from school, her family issues, her grades, her friends, everything. She talked to him when she was feeling happy and she talked to him when she was feeling sad. He made her feel better he gave her advice and despite his childlikeness he listened.

Now at age fifteen, she's confused, conflicted, and caught between two worlds. This is a problem he can't help her with. She's a teenager. Not still a kid, not yet a grown up. She doesn't tell Peter about this; she doesn't want him to know because it scares her. She's changed a lot since she was seven. She's grown up so much.

She has breasts, hips, she's taller. She gets acne, she shaves her legs, and she had body odder. She has cramps, she becomes bitchy when PMSing, and she has her period. She hasn't just changed physically. She knows more than she did back then, she sees some of what Peter and the Lost Boys do and she bites her tongue when she wants to say something dumb like "stop acting so immature". They would hate her if she said that and she doesn't want them to hate her.

She has some grown up tendencies, that she thinks Peter has picked up on. Tink definitely has. Like when the Lost Boys are being really loud she has sudden bursts of anger at them all, because of the noise. Back home she wants her parents to treat her like an adult, but she doesn't want Peter to know that because when she's in Never Land she wants to still be a kid.

She no longer enjoys the simplistic things of her child hood. She enjoys more complicated things now, some things she can't even begin to tell Peter because he can never begin to comprehend them, and she knows if she tries to make him he'll grow up, and she can't do that to the boy who never grows up. She has dreams, and aspirations for the future, but she just wants the future to stop coming so fast. She wants time to stand still so she can enjoy what she has left of her child hood.

She sits on the beach in Never Land and looks up at the full moon. Her knees pulled to her chest. She no longer wares a nightgown; instead her PJ's are flannels and a T-shirt that has a picture from _Green Eggs and Ham_ by Dr. Seuss on it. She stares at the ocean and cries. Her eyes are blood shot her face is red. She never wants this to end but she knows it must. All good things must end. She wants to grow up but she never wants to grow up. She's contradicting herself but she knows fighting it would be stupid, because all children grow up, all but one that is.

She's running out of time. It's all coming at her so fast. She knows has little time left. She doesn't know how much, she just knows that it's not enough. It will never be enough. She wishes she could stay forever but she knows she must go home. She wants to fly forever but she knows she can't. She never wants to stop believing. She still believes and she can still fly, she just wonders how long it will last.

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><p><strong>AN idk wHere this came from it just sorta did. iv been thinking about this one for a year or two but i didnt want to write a long ff about this person..so i changed it to a oneshot about being a teenager. i want to know what ppl think. i keep editing it, but i finaly decided to put it up. i may go back and change some things. tell me what dosent make sence or if u see inconsistancys. i was also thiniking about making it a song fic with never grow up by taylor swift. i might add that i mingt not tell me what you think. or i might just do a song fic for that song and peter pan thats compleetly seperate. this is a really long AN..soryy... ignor all spelling and grammar mistakes i have dyslexia its not my fault and spell check doesent get evrything.**

**Disclamer: I do not own Peter Pan or anything recodnisable from Peter Pan the rights to JM Barrie's Peter Pan belong to Great Ormond Street Hospital. so i own nothing, exept the girl in the story is basicaly me so i ouwn myself i guess. **

**oh and plz plz plz plz...REVIWE... tell me what u think(dont be overly harsh,,aka no flames are apriciated) constructiv critisim is okay, it helps me make my writing beter. plz reaviw even if its just aword... really it makes me a beter writer not just of ff but ingeneral. thank you**


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